100 Simple Secrets of Happy People

(copied from a book)

1.Your life has purpose and meaning
2.Use a strategy for happiness
3. you don't have to win every time
4. your goals should be aligned with one another
5.Choose your comparisons wisely
6.Cultivate friendships
7. turn off the tv
8.accept yourself- unconditionally
9.remember where you came from
10.limit yourself to thinking about one subject as you lie down to sleep
11. friendship beats money
12. Have Realistic expectations
13. Be open to new ideas
14.Share with others how important they are to you
15. If you are not sure, guess positively
16. Believe in yourself
17.Don't believe in yourself too much
18. Don't face your problems alone
19.age is not to be feared
20.develop a household routine
21. don't be overprotective
22. Pay attention. You may have what you want
23. Don't let Your religious beliefs fade
24.Do what you say you are going to do
25.Don't be aggressive with your friends and family
26.Root for the home team
27.Don't confuse stuff with success
28.every relationship is different
29.Don't think "what if...?"
30.Volunteer
31.If you can't reach your goals, your goals will hurt you
32. Exercise
33. Little things Have Big meanings
34. It's not what happened, it's how ou think about what happened
35.Develop some common interests with loved ones
36. Laugh
37. Don't let your entire life hinge on one element
38. Share of yourself
39. Busy is better than bored
40. Satisfaction is relative
41. learn to use a computer
42. try to think less about the people and things that bother you
43. eat some fruits every day
44. Keep your family close
45. enjoy what you have
46. think in concrete terms
47. be socially supportive
48. don't blame yourself
49. be a peacemaker
50. cherish animals
51. make your work a calling
52. never trade your morals for your goals
53. don't pretend to ignore things your loved ones do that bother you
54. get a good night's sleep
55. buy what you like
56.accomplish something every day
57. be flexible
58. events are temporary
59. be your own fan
60. join a group
61. be positive
62. there will be an end, bu you can be prepared
63. how we see the world is more important than how the world is
64. keep a pen and paper handy
65. help the next person who needs some minor assistance
66. take care enot to harshly criticize family and friends
67. some people like the big picture, and others like the details
68. do things you are good at
69. go visit your neighbor
70. smile
71. don't accept tv's picture of the world
72. you always have a choice
73. be agreeable
74. don't ignore one part of your life
75. listen to music
76. let your goals guide you
77. use your job positively
78. don't forget to have fun
79. believe in ultimate justice
80. reminisce
81. be conscientious
82. don't dwell on unwinnable conflicts

to be continued...

Tired. Environment

I feel tired. Not feeling tired physically, but tired mentally...I am learning how to stay strong- how could I pretend as if nothing has happened?

I always bear in mind that human life is complex and definitely not a safe sailling journey. Yes, we aware that many people are less fortunate than us..and yet, we can't help feeling the negative emotions when the expectations and the reality are totally different.

While spending my precious and limited time with my parents, I feel so relax at my home- the real home sweet home. There are many birds singing or even fighting for territories... created all sorts of 'noises' in my garden. I always noticed that many birds take turn to drink water from a small bucket where we placed in the backyard.

Back in S'pore, I am alone again. This is not my own house, not my own bedroom, not my own bed. There are no dogs running around/greeting me happily at the gate. No garden. This is a tiny island where everyone is working hard to earn dollars and cents. Noise pollution is a norm. I realize that only when I visited my caucasian ex-coursemate who lives in Bk Timah. BT housing estates are so quiet-just like Malaysia. I am too get used to the noises of HDB.

Now, I fully understand why my good friend explained that she couldn't stand the days working in KL alone. Thereafter, she decided to move back to her hometown, feels happier to earn less but enjoys to live together with family members.

Environment: the common attitudes towards a negative/unpleasant environment
1. leave the environment
2. change the environment
3. tolerate the environment
4. grumbling and staying in the same environment

At this moment, unfortunately, I am No. 4.... This is just an idiot bird who enjoys grumbling and yet find it too hard to leave sg....No matter what, S'pore is a good place to find worms. This is the price I choose to have. Pathetic.

Kiasu- learning piano as fast as possible?

I already encountered at least 2 parents asked me such questions:

" Any faster method for my daughter to finish her piano course till grade 8 standard?"

" How many songs my son able to learn each week?" (asked me a few times..within 6 weeks -the son just started his lesson)

I would think that this is just part of kiasu culture. Walking down the learning path, efficiency is important. Simple reason as that.

1. Save time, save $, save nagging ' hey son/daughter, you need to practise!'?

2. Perhaps, the parents would have a chance to show off " Oh, my son/daughter finished her/his grade 8 by the age of xx"

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I chanced upon this piano teacher's website and really like her opinion on this matter. Enjoy~

http://dorothychiamusic.multiply.com/journal/item/13/Piano_Exams_what_if_the_student_is_not_ready

There seems to be a hidden prestige behind the ABRSM piano graded exams. EVERY piano student wants to FINISH grade 8 in the shortest time possible. Could it be the influence of Singapore's education system?

Now what if a child is underperforming at the weekly piano lesson and in the teacher's professional opinion as well as for the best interest of the child, the teacher makes the decision that the student is not ready to take exam. Often, this decision is faced by parents as if it is the END OF THE WORLD!

Why is the child considered not ready?
1. The progress is much slower than that of his or her average peers.
2. Scales, sightreading, exam pieces are all not proficient.
3. The student is struggling.
4. The student is a slow learner.
5. The student is just not interested in the exam preparation, much to the exasperation of the piano teacher and the parent!

Sure, every parent wants their child to excel. So does every teacher. But what if the child cannot deliver? Is the mental health of the child less important than a paper qualification? So what if he is grade 8 but cannot play a single piece of music outside of his lesson? It is far more important that students gain the skill of MUSICIANSHIP.

I remember that when I was a student, I hated Maths! I struggled. I just don't have the aptitude for Maths. It remains to this day a mystery...and I am very happy to leave it at that. Sure I use maths to work out my bills, my income, but that is about it. Don't ever ask me to be an accountant or work in a bank. Just thinking about it gives me a headache. So when I see some of my students with no aptitude for Music struggle with making sense of those tow gays on the page.....I can empathise with that feeling. No amount of sceaming is going to produce an eureka experience for the student.

So just because the student cannot do exam, then what?
Well, some students take 2 years to prepare for a grade. Some students continue to learn the piano 'for fun'. Some students wait it out....and then when they are ready....they will take an exam that they are confident and ready.

There is no prize for FINISHING grade 8. Who are you competing with anyway? And, neither mommy nor the piano teacher can take the exam for you. You are unique and an individual. Only YOU can decide to learn music, to practise, to enjoy and to create. Music is as fun as you make it out to be.