Tired. Environment

I feel tired. Not feeling tired physically, but tired mentally...I am learning how to stay strong- how could I pretend as if nothing has happened?

I always bear in mind that human life is complex and definitely not a safe sailling journey. Yes, we aware that many people are less fortunate than us..and yet, we can't help feeling the negative emotions when the expectations and the reality are totally different.

While spending my precious and limited time with my parents, I feel so relax at my home- the real home sweet home. There are many birds singing or even fighting for territories... created all sorts of 'noises' in my garden. I always noticed that many birds take turn to drink water from a small bucket where we placed in the backyard.

Back in S'pore, I am alone again. This is not my own house, not my own bedroom, not my own bed. There are no dogs running around/greeting me happily at the gate. No garden. This is a tiny island where everyone is working hard to earn dollars and cents. Noise pollution is a norm. I realize that only when I visited my caucasian ex-coursemate who lives in Bk Timah. BT housing estates are so quiet-just like Malaysia. I am too get used to the noises of HDB.

Now, I fully understand why my good friend explained that she couldn't stand the days working in KL alone. Thereafter, she decided to move back to her hometown, feels happier to earn less but enjoys to live together with family members.

Environment: the common attitudes towards a negative/unpleasant environment
1. leave the environment
2. change the environment
3. tolerate the environment
4. grumbling and staying in the same environment

At this moment, unfortunately, I am No. 4.... This is just an idiot bird who enjoys grumbling and yet find it too hard to leave sg....No matter what, S'pore is a good place to find worms. This is the price I choose to have. Pathetic.